


The Life and Times of Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak

by xrosepetalsx



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-06
Packaged: 2018-02-03 03:15:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1728983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xrosepetalsx/pseuds/xrosepetalsx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The life and times of Craig Tucker, creature of habit, and Tweek Tweak, his coffee loving best friend and lover. </p><p>A compilation of the special, important, and not very important moments of their lives.</p><p>X-posted at fanfiction.net</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Some Sex

**Author's Note:**

> While trying to write an actual fanfiction, I ended up writing a bunch of things that are linked but not linked. So basically, I decided that that _would_ be the fanfiction. So basically, every chapter can be read as a oneshot, but they all co-exist in one universe, though they may happen out of order. 
> 
> In case anyone's confused, it's kind of like I'm writing glimpses of different parts of their lives, out of order glimpses of little moments that happen between them, but which ultimately make up their entire lives. 
> 
> And on that note, I'd be happy if anyone had a specific thing they wanted to see that I could try and fit in! No promises though, depending how the characters relationship builds itself and what not! 
> 
> Since I'm still building their world around them as I go, I'll add more characters and relationships as they come up!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy, and future notes should be much shorter!

“Fuck, Tweek,” Craig groaned, snapping his hips forward in a staccato beat. “Fuck, you’re so _tight_ ,” he groaned again.

“ _Craaig_ ,” Tweek moaned back, holding Craig’s hair so tight in his fists Craig was almost afraid he was going to yank it right out. “Craig _please_ ,” he begged.

Craig moaned in response and reached down to grab Tweek in his palm, stroking him to the rhythm of his thrusts.

“Ungh – Crai- _Craig_ ,” Tweek cried, face scrunching up, “Jesus, that feels so good!”

“Yeah?” Craig asked, and grinned, twisting his wrist and gripping Tweek just a little bit tighter, just the way Tweek liked it. The blonde moaned again, this time louder, and let go of Craig’s hair to grab at his back, fingernails scrabbling for purpose and leaving scorching red marks in there wake.

Grinding his hips upward, Tweek pressed his body as tight to Craig’s as he could, making it difficult for Craig to keep up the rhythm with his hand. Tweek didn’t seem to care, running his hands back through Craig’s hair and tugging some more.

“ _Nghhh_ Cra-Craig I’m gonna-” Tweek tried, but Craig cut him off with a searing kiss, nipping at his bottom lip possessively, twisting his fingers around the tip of Tweek’s penis, stroking harder and moaning into the other’s mouth.

In the next moment, with a high pitched scream, Tweek spent himself all over Craig’s hand, tugging so hard on Craig’s hair it really started to hurt.

Then he released Craig and collapsed, exhausted, onto the bed. Craig kept thrusting, pressing his mouth into the crook of Tweek’s neck and biting down, hard, in revenge.

Tweek keened, scrabbling for purchase against Craig’s back again, and Craig moaned at the feeling.

His hips picked up speed, Tweek twitching against him, eyes sated as he stared up at him.

And then, finally, Craig reached his own climax.

“ _Tweek_ ,” he cried, and collapsed onto the still body beneath him. “Tweek,” he repeated, nuzzling at him.

“Jesus,” Tweek responded, eyes closed in bliss. His body was still trembling slightly, but Tweek was always vibrating.

They lied there for a moment, Craig soaking in the bliss that came right before the storm and kissing Tweek’s neck.

He ran his hands through Tweek’s hair softly, taking in the smell of his skin as he combed through the knots. Tweek sighed against him, body going still for just a moment.

And then it hit.

“Sweet Jesus, _what did we just do!?”_ Tweek screamed, thrusting Craig off of him. “Oh God, oh God, I can’t believe we just – _ahhh!_ What if I get a disease, what if my _dick falls off!_ Craig, fuck – _ngh!_ ” Tweek shouted, gripping the blankets around him as tight as he’d just been gripping Craig’s hair.

“Craig, _what if we die!?”_ he cried, this time gripping his own hair as tight as he’d been gripping Craig’s – maybe tighter.

Meanwhile, Craig was busy picking himself up off the floor. Rolling his eyes, Craig left the room and went into the bathroom, the screams of his paranoid boyfriend following behind him. When he returned, it was with a washcloth and a towel, and he threw the washcloth at Tweek in part to shut him up.

It mostly worked.

“Gah! What the _hell_ Craig!?”

“Clean yourself up,” Craig stated, having already done so himself. He ran the clean towel over his bare skin before tossing that at his boyfriend as well. “We’re not going to die Tweek,” he said, and then mumbled, “This isn’t the first time we’ve done it, and we’re still alive.”

Then, louder “Tweek, it’s fine, really.”

“But, but how do you _know_ Craig!?”

“I just do, Tweekers,” he said, and Tweek nodded at that, finally calming down a little bit, wiping himself down with the washcloth as Craig shuffled around getting dressed.

For a moment, Craig closed his eyes and tried to pretend their relationship was normal. Just for a moment.

And then he opened his eyes again and looked at Tweek and thought _never_ with a smile on his face.

The other boy was busy scrubbing at his skin, mumbling something about germs and needing to get them off _right now_.

“Tweek,” he said, moving towards the other now that he was fully dressed. Tweek’s clothes were bundled in his hands. When Tweek looked up from his scrubbing, Craig threw them at him.

Tweek squeaked, ducking, even though Craig would never throw them _at_ him at him, hadn’t thrown them anywhere near him really, and grumbled something Craig couldn’t hear.

He laughed, taking the washcloth from Tweek’s hands when he was finally close enough and said “Turn around.” Tweek did so without hesitation, twitching and trembling while Craig ran the cloth down his back and arms, nudging him until he got on his stomach so he could clean his ass as well.

Tweak sighed at the contact, and Craig smiled.

It wasn’t that Tweek didn’t like having sex. On the contrary, Tweek _loved_ sex, but he was paranoid, and afterwards he always reacted like they’d just done the worst thing in the world and now they were going to die. Always.

Craig didn’t mind so much, as he loved having sex with the skinny boy anyway, loved being around him, _in_ him, and having the privilege of being his everything. Craig could deal with the aftermath easily, always had, and always would.

When he was done, Craig nudged Tweek until he rolled over, and handed him the towel. When he took it, Craig returned the washcloth to the bathroom.

When he came back, Tweek was trying, and failing, to get dressed.

For the most part, Craig let him be, but he couldn’t help going to him and stealing one last kiss.

Tweek squeaked, and then moaned into the kiss when Craig tilted his head back and ran his tongue against his lips. Then he pulled away and flopped down on his bed.

“Feel like going out tonight, Tweekers?” he asked.

Tweek turned to him, starting to twitch a little more rapidly now that his post orgasm high was gone, and nodded his head. “Su-sure Craig, whatever you want.”

Later, Craig held Tweek’s hand while he threw up in a toilet, having drunk too much at Stan’s party, and rubbed his back when he started crying and freaking out again.

And that’s how their relationship went.

Tweek was paranoid and often panicked, and Craig took care of him.  


	2. They Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make sure no one got offended by my characterization in this one. I wasn’t trying to make Bebe slutty, just a flirt who is very aware of her assets. I hope that comes across a little after the initial appearance of her character.

One of the things that surprised Craig the most about Tweek was just how jealous he was. When he thought about it, that really shouldn’t have surprised him at all, but it did.

Tweek was incredibly paranoid, but Craig hadn’t thought that that would translate so easily to jealously. It was just another thing Craig was careful of not setting off, because he hated upsetting his boyfriend.

While they didn’t exactly hide their relationship at school, they also didn’t do much to make it public knowledge. Still, their closest friends were aware they were together, and most other people just ignored them.

For the most part, there wasn’t much threat of anything setting off Tweek’s jealously. Craig and Tweek didn’t exactly have a lot of girl friends, they didn’t really have that many friends in general, but once, when they’d first started dating, a girl named Milly had tried to ask Craig out, and Tweek hadn’t been very happy at all. For weeks after, every time he saw the girl, he glared at her.

That was when Craig found out Tweek was the jealous type, and jealousy and paranoia really were _not_ the best combination.

So when Bebe came up to him that day and asked him out on a date, Craig was not only uncomfortable, but annoyed and worried. Tweek was supposed to meet him any minute to walk home together, and he really didn’t want him to get any wrong ideas.

Unsure of how to react, Craig just kind of stood there and stared.

Bebe must have thought he was distracted by her breasts, because in the next second she was giggling and standing up straighter, thrusting out her breasts a little more.

Craig’s brows crinkled, and he flipped her off, turning to move around and away from her, but she stopped him by taking hold of his arm.

“Craig, you didn’t answer my question,” she said, giggling again and bouncing her curls. Pressing closer to him, she whispered in his ear “It’ll be f _uuun_.”

And that’s when they heard Tweek’s gasp. Spinning around, he caught sight of his blonde boyfriend just as he was turning to leave.

“Tweek!” he shouted after the other boy, but he didn’t stop. He was gone before Craig could even think of untangling himself from Bebe’s hold.

After a second, a surprised noise left Bebe’s mouth and she immediately let Craig go.

“Oh my gosh Craig, I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry,” she said, putting her hand over her mouth and backing away.

Craig shook his head and flipped her off again, and then he was gone.

\--

“I _hate you_ Craig!” Tweek shouted, throwing his thermos at the dark haired teen’s head. Craig ducked easily, but it clipped him on the shoulder and he hissed in pain.

The thermos landed at his feet, the top popping open and spilling hot coffee all over the floor.

“Fuck you, Tweek!” Craig shouted back, kicking the thermos away from him, spreading the spill of the liquid.

“Ungh, _fuck!_ You fucking _fuck fuck fuck_ , get out of my _life!_ ” Tweek growled, grabbing a pen from his desk and throwing that as well. “I hate you, I hate you, _I hate you!”_ he screamed, grabbing at his hair like a wild animal.

Craig moved forward, brow pinched in anger even while he tried to restrain it. His lips twitched with words he knew were better left un-said, but with each new thing Tweek found to throw at him, his mouth got looser and looser.

“Goddamnit you psycho, stop throwing shit at me!”

“ _Gah_ y-ou f-fucker!” Tweek shouted. “Why did I ever ag-agree to date _you!?_ ” he growled, reaching behind him blindly and throwing his mini stapler this time. Again, Craig ducked, and this one finally missed. Tweek was backing up, his hips finally hitting his desk as Craig crowded him in.

“Y-you, you _cheater!_ ” Tweek hissed, putting his hands over his face and cowering in fear.

Craig reached for him then, grabbing the blonde’s wrists and yanking him forward so he was almost held against Craig’s chest.

Tweek balled his fists up and starting pounding them against him, but Craig only held on tighter.

“I didn’t cheat on you, you fucking _idiot_!” Craig shouted, pressing Tweek harder up against his desk. Tweek screamed again, this time pushing harder against Craig until Craig fell backwards onto the floor.

He was still holding Tweek’s wrists though, bringing the smaller boy down with him. It didn’t matter. The fall was enough to loosen his hold enough that Tweek could continue beating against his chest.

That’s when Craig noticed the tears, and his anger started to dissipate, realizing again why he’d been so anxious for Tweek not to see him with Bebe. He didn’t let go of Tweek’s wrists, but he did let the blonde continue to beat against his chest, even though it hurt.

Soon enough, Tweek started to tire out and calmed against Craig’s chest, burrowing his face into his neck and crying for real.

There were sobs now, and Craig finally let go of Tweek’s wrists to wrap his arms around his back, holding the shivering frame against him and rubbing his back soothingly.

Reaching one hand up, Craig buried it in Tweek’s wild hair and turned his head, pressing a kiss firmly against the side of his head.

“I would _never_ cheat on you, Tweek. Don’t you know that?” he whispered. Tweek only cried harder.


	3. Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of these days I’ll dare to try writing from Tweek’s point of view, but for now, here’s some more from Craig. I do try and treat these a little like oneshots, so I try and keep in the vein as if I were posting these separately.

Craig used to spend a lot of time at Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse in an attempt to get Tweek’s attention, but now that they were together, Craig still spent a lot of time there; partly because he enjoyed bothering his boyfriend, but partly because it actually served to calm Tweek down.

While Craig didn’t ever really admit it aloud, Craig kind of lived to make Tweek calm, and happy, and comfortable. He enjoyed taking care of Tweek; while others found it to be a difficult task, he thought it was simple and easy, most of the time.

He was willing to admit it wasn’t always easy.

But while taking care of Tweek often made Craig’s life a little more adventurous, it was a good thing. Their whole relationship was a good thing actually. For both of them. While Tweek needed someone to calm his paranoia, Craig needed someone to break him out of his shell of perpetual boredom.

Craig loved boring things, but maybe, sometimes, he needed something that wasn’t so boring.

Like right now.

“Fo-Fosse!” Tweek called to the coffee house at large. Eventually, a grinning and laughing Fosse McDonald got up from a booth somewhere in the back, and, still giggling, moved to take his coffee from Tweek.

“You’re so gay,” he said, still laughing.

Tweek, being the somewhat shy, but still hotheaded teen that he was, responded by shaking violently and with an angry frown, pushed the hot beverage a little more roughly than needed into Fosse’s hands.

The liquid splashed over and onto his fingers, and Fosse yelped, dropping the beverage.

“So-sorry, _Jesus_ , I-I-I didn’t _mean to!_ ” Tweek yelped. “I’ll make you a ne-new one right away!”

Craig was sure he was the only one who noticed, but when Tweek turned around, still twitching uncontrollably, he had a little smile on his face.

Fosse, confused but none the wiser, picked up the spilt cup and moved to throw it away.

Now Craig was laughing, and he stood up from his own seat at a table nearby to not-so-accidentally run into Fosse.

“ _Oops_ ,” Craig said, and flipped the other boy off. Fosse stared at him, opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and walked back to where his friend Bill Allen was waiting for him.

Still laughing, Craig continued on his way to the counter.

He really loved being around to see Tweek lose his cool, especially in a situation like this one.

Not very many people came to Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse now that a Harbucks had opened in town, but sometimes people liked to come just to bother Tweek. Some people, for some unknown reason, actually liked the taste of the coffee here, and some people just came to support Tweek and or his parents, depending on who it was.

Usually, Craig would work to keep Tweek from losing his cool, but not when people came around just to bother him. Fosse and Bill weren’t much of a threat, but they were annoying, and they often came around, laughing and throwing stupid comments Tweek’s way.

Once at the counter, Craig leaned against it, not so subtly staring at his boyfriend’s butt. He glanced over at Fosse and Bill, who were staring their way, laughing.

“Hey Tweek,” Craig said. Tweek squeaked and jumped, spilling a little coffee from the cup he’d just filled, and then turned around.

“Wh-what?”

“I’ll take that over to him for you,” Craig said, and quirked a smile at his boyfriend. At first Tweek just stared at him, twitching and shaking his head, but then he glanced over to see Bill and Fosse laughing and changed his mind.

“O-okay,” Tweek responded, and handed Craig the cup. Before Tweek could stop him, Craig grabbed his chin and yanked him forward, stealing a kiss even though he knew Fosse and Bill could see him.

Tweek squeaked again and pulled away, shaking even more violently.

“ _Craig_ ,” he moaned in protest. Craig just smiled at him and turned away to where Fosse and Bill were indeed still staring, mouths open, but for once not laughing at God knew what.

When he reached their table, they were still staring.

“Here’s your coffee,” Craig stated, and pushed it into Fosse’s hand. The coffee once against spilled over the top and onto Fosse’s skin, but this time when he shrieked and flung the coffee away from him, Craig’s hand was there to stop it from falling on the ground.

“Have a nice night,” he said, and flipped the two boys off again.

When he returned to the counter, Tweek was working to keep himself from laughing, hand shielding his mouth.

“I-I can take care of myself you kn-know,” he said, but his eyes were twinkling.

Craig shrugged and said “I know.”


	4. Stares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep trying to write one of these a day, but some days it’s harder than others. I don’t know why these just keep getting shorter – sorry about that – and I seriously didn’t even realize I was writing Tweek until I already was. Hope he came out okay.

Before they’d started dating, they’d barley been friends. They hung out in the same group about half the time, sat next to each other on the bus vaguely often, and ran in the same circles, but they didn’t spend every waking moment together. They didn’t even talk much.

Mostly, Craig treated Tweek the same why he treated everyone else. He flipped the boy off.

Tweek had, oddly enough, been okay with that. For some reason, it calmed him down, maybe because he was being included and treated the same as everyone else for once.

It was all those conspiracy theories spinning around in his head, telling him something was wrong because someone wasn’t including him. He fucking hate those thoughts, because he knew they weren’t true goddamnit. He knew they weren’t.

But he couldn’t get them out of his head.

Anyway, before they’d started dating, Tweek remembered that Craig used to send him these weird looks all the time, and Tweek fucking hated it. It made him so nervous, and his heart fluttered a little bit in anticipation of those looks every freaking time.

The knowing it was coming, and the waiting for it, was more nerve wracking than the actual looks, for obvious reasons, so Tweek spent most of his time around Craig being even more anxious than normal.

When Tweek thought about it now, he wondered if that was the real reason Craig spent so much time given him weird looks; because Tweek was so goddamned anxious about them.

So he asked Craig.

“Ngh, C-Craig?"

“What.”

“W-why GUH, why did you used to look at me all the time?”

“What are you talking about Tweek.”

“Back before, _Jesus Christ_ , don’t you un-understand me!?”

“No Tweek, I don’t. What are you saying.”

“Before we were dating, w-why GAH, did you give me weird looks all the time!?”

Craig just kind of stared at him then, giving him that same weird look he used to give him all the time, and Tweek felt himself growing anxious again, just like he used too.

Then Craig grinned mischievously and got off his bed slowly, almost menacingly, dropping the comic he’d been reading and stalking towards where Tweek sat at Craig’s computer table.

“Because, I liked the way you reacted,” Craig said simply. Tweek blushed and tired to look away, ducking his head, but Craig didn’t let him. He grabbed his chin and forced him to meet his eyes, and his smile grew softer.

“I liked to see how riled up I could make you, even back then,” Craig whispered against his lips, and then he kissed him.

Tweek squeaked, and then he melted into the kiss, shivering at the feeling of Craig’s lips on his. He moaned, and twitched, hands reaching up to melt into Craig’s hair, forgetting he was wearing his chullo.

“Ah!” he screamed when his fingers met fabric instead of hair, yanking away from Craig’s kiss. “ _Jesus Christ!_ ”

Craig stared at him, confused for a minute, then reached up and touched his hat. When he realized what had scared Tweek, he started laughing, full and loud, clutching at his stomach. Tweek glared at him, still twitching, and wrapped his arms around himself.

“I-I thought it was a-a-a monster or something, _fuck_ man! How was I supposed to know!"

“Because it’s always there!” Craig panted through his laughter, still bent over clutching at his stomach.

“Fuck you, Craig!” he shouted defensively, glaring at his boyfriend, having totally forgotten what he’d been thinking out before.

His heart felt big and warm though, and he couldn’t help letting a little smile shine through.


	5. A Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the wonderful serendipityrain711 for making me smile every time she reviews. I seriously love cutters too, and so I thought hey, why not bring them in for an appearance :) I think I gave up a little on attempting to make these clear oneshots, and more just glimpses into the world I’m building around the boys.

Craig understood that he had a crush. He wasn’t particularly happy about it, nor did he have any plans to act on it, but he knew. In that vein, Craig didn’t really consider what he was doing running from his feelings, just ignoring them.

They were probably unrequited anyway, and for the most part, they were just a bother.

But he couldn’t change the fact that those feelings were there, no matter how hard he tried (and let’s face it, he didn’t try hard at all), any more than he could change who he was as a person.

So when he was around Tweek, he let himself stare, and occasionally he let himself accidentally touch the twitchy boy, but he never planned to do anything about it.

That was when he found out about Butters and Cartman.

It was as unexpected as it was weird. Craig had this spot on the roof that he enjoyed hanging out at during lunch some times, music blaring in his ears, and one day he went up there to find his spot already occupied by a very…enthusiastic couple.

While Craig had immediately recognized the hulking shape of Eric Cartman, he was very surprised to learn that the tiny blonde _boy_ he’d been kissing was none other than Butters Stotch.

He only made the connection when he recognized the tiny shape, so much smaller than any other boy at the school, and realized that it was not, in fact, one of the girls that Cartman had pressed against the wall.

“Uh,” Craig finally said after a few moments of staring and being surprised that Cartman was _gay_.              

Startled, Cartman spun around, a glare on his face, and one hand behind his back concealing the smaller shape of Butters.

“What are you doing here, Craig,” Cartman growled, a menacing snarl on his face that was only ruined by the way his eyes darted around the roof.

“This is my spot,” Craig stated, annoyed, while Cartman glared at him, his shoulders set in taught lines. Cartman took a few deep breathes, trying to calm down maybe, and attempted to relax his body language.

Not unexpectedly, that failed. Letting out a huff of a breath, Cartman than stalked towards Craig, seemingly forcibly dragging Butters along behind him, if the small squeak he heard was anything to go by.

“Well, now it’s mine, so leave,” Cartman finally said, teeth barred.

“I don’t care,” Craig responded, deciding he really didn’t give a shit about Cartman’s secret relationship with Butters, and then moved around Cartman to sit down in his now vacated spot against the wall near the door. Cartman spun, and Craig thought he heard Butters cry out this time in pain.

Cartman’s face seemed to soften, just for a moment, and then it was gone.

“Well I do care, Craig, so get out!” he yelled, sounding a little bit panicked.

“No, I don’t care about you and Butters,” Craig tried again, realizing Cartman hadn’t understood.

Cartman’s jaw dropped a little and he sputtered. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, asswipe!”

“I don’t care, Cartman,” he said again, and then rested his head against the wall in thought.

Butters, more or less making the decision for Cartman, finally made himself visible. He was rubbing his knuckles together roughly, head bowed down and a blush on his cheeks. Cartman was still sputtering, eyes comically wide as he tried to make a grab for Butters and missed.

“Well, heya Craig,” Butters said, flashing him a small smile. “S-sorry ‘bout taking your spot, we honestly didn’ know…”

Craig didn’t answer, just continued to stare at the odd couple. The cogs were turning in his head, and for that moment, he briefly entertained the thought of being with Tweek.

He could imagine himself pressing Tweek up against the wall just the way Cartman had been pressing Butters there, and it made his cheeks heat.

“Can I uh, maybe sit with you, Craig?” Butters asked, snapping Craig back to the present, and he nodded his acquiescence.

Considering the way Butters was shaking nervously in a similar way Tweek shook, Craig stared at him for a moment. Cartman, meanwhile, had finally stopped sputtering and was now grumbling, taking a seat next to Butters and harrumphing as he sat.

“Cartman’s dirty little secret,” Craig said, but he meant it as a question.

“Ay!” Cartman yelled, starting to scramble up.

“Gee Craig, you got it all wrong!” Butters cried out, pushing Cartman back down. “I-I’m the one keeping the secret! Eric’s been the nicest, most understandin’ guy,” he said, and that’s when Craig saw the sweet eyes they were making at each other.

Craig didn’t care why they were keeping the secret, so he didn’t ask, but he did wonder how. How had they gotten together? All he could think about was Tweek, and this crush he had that’d he mostly ignored, but now, having seen Cartman with Butters, couldn’t ignore.

Craig wasn’t looking directly at them, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see them reach towards each other to hold hands.

He imagined what it might be like to hold Tweek’s hand.

“How,” he said, before he could stop himself.

Cartman growled and struggled to stand up again with an indignant “What do you mean ‘how,’ you fucker?”

“Ca-calm down, Eric!” Butters said while reaching to pull Cartman back down again. “I’m sure he ain’t tryin’ to offend us or nothing, right Craig?”

Craig nodded his head.

“You mean, how did we get together, right?” Butters asked, and he’d finally stopped shaking nervously. His eyes suddenly had this understand look, like he’d just figured something out, and it kind of freaked Craig out.

“You don’t have to tell this asshole anything, Butters. Just ignore him,” Cartman growled, once again glaring at Craig. “And I swear to God, Craig, if you tell anyone-”

“I won’t,” Craig said, and meant it.

Cartman started sputtering again, clearly confused, and Butters just smiled.

“You’re a good guy, Craig,” Butter’s said. “But there’s not much to say…Eric and I were havin’ a sleep over, just like old times, and then he was kissin’ me,” he said, giggling and causing Cartman to sputter even more.

Craig smirked, but he didn’t respond, and other than Cartman’s indignant noises, it was quiet. Tentatively, Butters put his hand on Craig’s shoulder, and when Craig looked at him, he this earnest smile on his face.

“I think, maybe, if you were ah, looking for advice, maybe you should just tell ‘im?” he said, and he was blushing again.

Cartman, on the other hand, finally shut up, mouth hanging open as he stared at Butters and Craig. Craig smirked.

“Maybe.”

And that was how Craig decided he had nothing to lose.

(“Just remember, asswipe, now I’ve got dirt on you too, so you better keep your fucking mouth shut!”

“Eric!”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this like four times, because Cartman and Butters were really hard to write. For some reason, Cartman gave me the most trouble, so I hope he’s not too far off base! I bet I should feel more worried about Butters but he was more fun to write.


End file.
